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It’s simple maths!

A chalkboard with a lightbulb on it

TIME + HAPPY ENDING = HAPPY TIME

But let’s try a different equation…

We are so happy with the quality of our happy ending massage East London service that we have asked some of our regular clients a series of ‘Would you rather’ questions, in order to determine whether our theory is correct; that our happy ending massage truly is the best way to have a happy time!

A month’s supply of Taco Bell vs happy ending massage

Now at first, it might seem like a better investment to get a months’ worth of food- if anything the Taco Bell would seem like the sensible choice but really is it? Think about it… Getting a happy ending massage feels amazing, whilst you are in the moment and after too. Not only does a happy ending massage provide you with sexual relief but the massaging and sensual intimacy delivered by your masseuse will give you long last and positive feelings. Whereas opting for the Taco Bell would negatively affect your life. The thing with something like Taco Bell, at first it seems like an excellent idea but after that first cheese and beef taco your insides are crying out for fresh food. Prolonged eating of Taco Bell will not only give you bad skin, make you sweat more and clog your intestines it will also negatively affect your weight and visual appearance.

For the good of yourself and your body, I think the real winner here is a happy ending massage.

The outside of a Taco Bell

Taking a female colleague to dinner vs happy ending massage

Taking the girl out from the office that you have a bit of a thing for might seem like a better idea but in reality, what would you rather be getting up to…

In reality, taking a girl from the office out for food might be a really awful experience. You’re nervous, she doesn’t give you an inch, you make an effort with conversation, you’re putting yourself out there and she gives you nothing back, you feel small and embarrassed and of course you have to foot the bill. You part ways and you walk home alone, you’re a little pissed and you hope she doesn’t tell anyone from the office how much of a loser she thinks you are, you get home and you realise your lips have been stained black for god knows how long – damn red wine!

Or with the same money in your pocket, you could get treated with some respect. You could leave work and visit a beautiful, welcoming, seductive lady. She will iron out every stressed muscle in your body, every knot, cramp and she will treat your throbbing member to some TLC you were after.

A man holding hands with a woman in a restaurant

A budget weekend away vs happy ending massage

Travel… I wouldn’t knock it, how can I? Travelling is an opportunity to experience other cultures, discover yourself and take some well needed time out. Saying that going on a weekend budget trip away might not be all that you expect it to be… After a hot and cramped flight you get to your hotel, it’s not as nice as the pictures, you can smell the sewers and the noise of the outside goes on all night. The food doesn’t agree with you, there’s rain?? And you keep getting ripped off. You leave feeling exhausted and skint. Not quite how you imagined right?

Whereas getting an erotic massage never leaves you feeling the wrong kind of tired… Getting a happy ending in actually leaves you feeling rejuvenated and more content within yourself. You may think about sexual experiences you have had before that was not so good for your self-esteem or wrecked your head a bit, but getting a happy ending massage is not at all comparable. A happy ending massage is all about you and making you feel good. If anything it is going to make you discover yourself and give you some well deserved TLC.

Rome lit up at night

Learning to fly vs happy ending massage

Now you may think I’d be at a loss with this one cuz I mean come on…flying! That would be amazing wouldn’t it? Wrong! Not necessarily no… I mean think about it yeah?  This isn’t something that has been tried and tested. If you grew wings out of your back think of the medical complications, think of the press. People would expect so much of you if you could fly, they’d be asking you to do interviews, sticking you on every talk show, panel show, you would be a national talking point- and then what? The resentment… could you imagine? People would turn on you, through jealousy, they’d say things like why isn’t he doing more, he should be saving people from buildings he should be getting every goddam cat, racket and misplaced ball out of every tall tree in sight. And either you do what the people say and work your wings to death or you ignore them and face the wrath of the general public. Horrible right?

Whereas getting a happy ending massage? No stress, no pressure, just simple, sensual pleasure.

A man with white wings

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